How this new habit will transform the way you treat yourself

I was reading my favorite book for the second time, “Power vs Force” by David R. Hawkins, and he said something that I will never expect it will affect me so much.

It was something that I knew it was important.

But never stopped to realize how profound it was.

This is the quote from the book:

“Simple kindness to one’s self and all that lives is the most powerful transformational force of all. It produces no backlash, has no downside, and never leads to loss or despair. It increases one’s own true power without exacting any toll. But to reach maximum power, such kindness can permit no exceptions, nor can it be practiced with the expectation of some selfish gain or reward. And its effect is as far-reaching as it is subtle.”

After reading it I decided that I will try to treat everyone with unconditional kindness.

I thought about the situations I didn’t treat someone with kindness.

And I felt very bad.

So I realized that the price of not being kind is something that it will hang in my consciousness, and I didn’t want to pay this price in the future.

Second, when I started to treat people with kindness, I saw how people starting treating me differently. In fact, with more kindness.

And the third effect that I saw, that I didn’t expect at all when I was starting this journey, it was that:

It changed how I was treating myself.

It changed how I was talking to myself.

Suddenly – after months of practicing it – I felt that I was treating myself with a lot of kindness.

I was not hard with myself as I used to be.

I was much more considerable with my mistakes, and I forgave myself for mistakes that I made in the past.

I started forgiving myself and somehow healing myself.

I started feeling in general much better with myself.

I couldn’t imagine that to treat myself with kindness, first I had to treat everyone else with it.

Now that you know what kindness can do for others, and for yourself, you can think more clearly what level of kindness you want in your life.

I will finish this post with another quote about kindness from another of my favorite books “The 6 pillars of self-stem” by Nathaniel Branden.

The quote it is a bit long, but for me, it is absolutely worth it:

My wife, Devers, is exceptional in the degree of her benevolence, generosity, and kindness to other human beings and, above all, to me. […] One day, Devers said something that impressed me profoundly:

You are very kind, generous, and caring when you stop long enough in what you are doing for it to occur to you. What you have never learned is the discipline of kindness. This means kindness that is not a matter of mood or convenience. It means kindness as a basic way of functioning. It is in you as a potential, but it doesn’t happen without consciousness and discipline, which perhaps you’ve never thought about. 

We had versions of this discussion more than once. An important step of my growth was when I integrated those discussions to the principle of living purposefully, so that kindness became not merely an inclination but a conscious goal. For self-esteem, consistent kindness by intention is a very different experience from kindness by impulse.

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